


You Should Be Here

by Kaychan87



Series: Memories ~ Steve x Reader Trilogy [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Assassination Attempt(s), Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Really should have made these Daredevil crossovers, Rumlow got what he deserved, Steve Rogers has so much guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-13
Updated: 2016-10-13
Packaged: 2018-08-22 06:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8276591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaychan87/pseuds/Kaychan87
Summary: After the fall out from Civil War, Steve finds himself in Wakanda, thinking back on what happened the night of his wedding. The heart broken groom confides his guilt in his best friend.





	

_It's one of those moments, that's got your name written all over it./And you know that if I had just one wish it'd be that you didn't have to miss this._

_Aw you should be here._

 

 

“You all right?”

The question was simple enough that Steve Rogers could have easily answered it. The truth was he was far from alright. He hadn’t been all right in a long time. He had been in Wakanda for months since the capture of Helmut Zemo and breaking his team out of the Raft. They were still fugitives according to the Sokovia Accords. Steve had Bucky back finally, had most of his friends with him. He was only missing one thing – his wife.

“Yeah Buck, I’m good,” Steve replied as he leaned against the balcony and watched the Wakandan sunset. The sounds of his team celebrating inside could be heard and it did put a smile on his face. He was glad that, despite all they had lost, they could still be happy. Steve would be with them, but his mood was quickly pulling south.

“You’re a bad liar, punk,” replied Bucky.

“It’s October fifth today,” stated Steve.

“I can still read a calendar,” quipped Bucky.

Steve shook his head, rolling his eyes at his best friend’s bad joke. “It would have been her birthday, Buck.” The blond didn’t mention that the incident had been four months ago; he didn’t have to. Bucky knew the timeline as well as Steve did.

Bucky nodded quietly. He was the reason Steve was in Wakanda, grieving for yet another woman he had lost too soon. He’d never known (Name), not truly; he had flashes of memories from the bank vault in DC but nothing beyond that. He had known Peggy, though. Steve had told Bucky about Peggy’s passing and Bucky had grieved the woman in his own way. “I’m sorry,” he whispered for what felt like the millionth time.

“She’d love this, being in Wakanda and living it up with the others,” mused Steve as though he hadn’t heard Bucky’s apology. “She’d want to get a picture with everyone, even you.” He had dreamt about it every night since T’Challa had given them asylum in Wakanda - (Name) in his arms, the two of them watching the sunset together. (Name) would tell him all the things she had done that day, showing him all the silly selfies she seemed to enjoy taking with their friends. She’d tell Steve she loved him and how happy they were going to be despite being on the run.

That was the point the dream turned into a nightmare. Steve would find himself back on that rooftop in Hell’s Kitchen, covered in blood - (Name)’s blood - frozen in panic and feeling the life drain out of her. He would wake up in a cold sweat, feeling that he had failed (Name) again. In those moments, surrounded by inky darkness, Steve hated himself and everything he was. What good were the gifts Dr. Erskine had given him if he continued to fail the people he cared about? He’d let Bucky fall from the train, he’d stood Peggy up, (Name) was shot in his arms, and he’d turned his entire team into fugitives. He could even explain how Howard and Maria Stark were dead because of him in those dark hours.

“Zemo’s locked up and Rumlow’s dead. They can’t touch her anymore,” Bucky pointed out, trying to pull Steve out of the darkness. Bucky knew better than anyone what a man consumed by it looked like. He saw it every time he looked in the mirror himself.

“Please don’t give me the ‘she’s in a better place’ speech,” groaned Steve. Everyone had been telling him that since the summer. Everyone was in a better place compared to Steve it would seem.

Bucky raised his hands in defense. “I just meant the people who meant her harm are out of the picture.”

Sighing, Steve hung his head. Bucky was right about that. Zemo had confessed to being the one to orchestrate the hit on (Name) as part of his master plan to topple the Avengers from within. He had easily persuaded Brock Rumlow to take the woman out since Rumlow was nursing his own grudge. The only thing Zemo hadn’t factored in was Rumlow’s demise at the hands of the Punisher (Steve hadn’t expected that either). “She was worried about Rumlow coming after us, did you know that?”

“You couldn’t have known, Steve,” insisted Bucky as he approached the balcony and stood next to his friend.

“I should have done more. I froze again,” Steve murmured, feeling the memories starting to swallow him whole again.

 

~*~

 

_Steve leaned forward to kiss (Name) just as the rain started, thunder booming around them. (Name) suddenly slumped against him, her eyes widening in shock._

_“Steve.”_

_His name had spilled from her lips, a breathless gasp, just as he noticed the crimson stain blossoming across the front of dress. “(Name)? (Name)!!” His arms were around her, his strength the only thing keeping her upright. Until Steve was down on his knees, cradling (Name) in his arms. All around him his friends had sprung into action, no one sure of what exactly was happening. He could hear their shouts, both at him and at each other, but all Steve could do was sit with his dying bride in his arms. For the second time in his long life, Steve Rogers felt helpless as yet another important person was lost to him on his watch._

_“She’s still alive.”_

_Steve looked up and found himself face to face with the masked devil of Hell’s Kitchen. All the fair haired super soldier could do was stare dumbly at the red-clad vigilante, unable to process his words._

_“Get her to Metro-General and find a nurse named Claire Temple. She is (Name)’s best chance,” the devil stated before he rose and approached Natasha._

_“You heard him, Capsicle. We have to go get (Name) help.”_

_Steve blinked and found Tony kneeling in front of him, concern and sorrow plain as day on the genius’ face. Whatever difference they had thanks to the accords, Steve was appreciative of Tony at that moment. “Tony…” he started, his voice a harsh rasp, but Tony shook his head._

_“I have a car waiting. We need to move now,” Tony said, for once being the rational one._

 

~*~

 

The rest of that night had been a blur for Steve but he knew Tony had come through for him. Steve had never gotten to thank the man before they had gone to war against each other. “Tony did more for her than I did. I left almost right away for Peggy’s funeral,” Steve said as he turned to face Bucky.

“You said it yourself, there was nothing else you could do for (Name),” replied Bucky.

“I should have been there,” Steve insisted. “What kind of husband isn’t at his wife’s side when she survives an attempt on her life?”

Steve had been halfway around the world, chasing down Helmut Zemo and fighting half the Avengers when he’d received the news that (Name) was expected to make a full recovery from Sharon Carter. He’d also found out Thunderbolt Ross had agents waiting to arrest Steve on sight if he tried to see (Name). It ate at Steve to know his rejection of the Accords, a view he knew his wife shared, was keeping them apart.

“From everything you told me, (Name) would rather you be safe than in jail for trying to get to her.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better about any of this, Buck,” groaned Steve. “I thought we were finally going to stop missing out on our lives, that we’d be doing this together.”

He knew for the time being it wasn’t possible to be with (Name). As much as he longed to see her face and to speak to her directly, it would only hurt her more if he tried. He had finally made his way to (Name), to his chance to be happy, and he’d cut out in the middle of what was supposed to be one of their happiest memories. His one wish was that (Name) didn’t have to miss any of the life Steve had promised.

Instead, (Name) was back in New York, relying on Natasha to be her g between with Steve. According to Nat’s latest update, (Name) was helping her lawyer friend with a case to free an innocent man from prison. From the way Nat described things, super people were popping up all over the city, including the man (Name) was trying to help. Doing exactly what Steve had run off to do with Bucky - protect people from the death grip that was the Accords, from being hunted for being different.

Steve let out one last wistful sigh before turning away from the balcony. He knew (Name) would love Wakanda and being with their team. The party they were throwing was one of those moments that had (Name) written all over it. But it wasn’t possible if Steve was going to keep her safe. He could live with the torture of being away from (Name) if it meant she would be safe. He returned to the party with Bucky but (Name) was still the only thing on his mind.

‘ _You should be here…._ ’

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Cole Swindell's "You Should Be Here"


End file.
